Not done... probably being deleted by tomorrow.

I want to be an Artist when I grow up. Either that or a ballerina-princess-astronaut.

By Marie E. O’Shaughnessy

!!The following is a highly opinionated excerpt from my mind. There is little to no research done and any statistic not supported with evidence or any comment on generations are not backed up by any real resources unless stated otherwise.!!

I don’t know about your generation but for mine, my parents, and all in-between this is a question we were given to think about and expected to know the answer since we were little “What do you want to be when you grow up?. This question along with “what’s your favorite colour?” or “what’s your favorite food?” YOU YOU YOU it’s all about YOU! Then we hit a certain age (I really can’t recall when I hit this age ) where you are expected to have narrowed it down. When it changes from the simple childhood dreams to “HEY lets change your dream jobs to something more specific like marine biologist” and things like your favorite colour or food just become something you don’t really talk about. Drawing a picture of your family becomes stupid and pointless. You are on a strict code of “don’t brag about yourself” except when you are expected to get a job then all of a sudden you jump back to “what are you good at? What makes YOU special?” that’s a point not mentioned above, and all together you get a big fat whooping identity crisis.

There is so much expected of us and so little actual living. I find myself spending so much time trying to live up to society standards that I can’t “be myself” whatever that is. North America is the ever flowing society of production, too much means for the demand. Too much waste for the valued. Too much focus too little “Dolce Far niente”.

I have big dreams, no ambition. Big self hopes, little restraint. Sometimes I’m asked why I did something… and I can’t answer it. I feel as though I embarrass my family, friends, and least of all myself. See what I did there? I put everything in the order I am expected to… depending who you are talking to. If you are talking you your family you come second. Your friends? Well you come last of course! Why in the hell would you be more important than them? That’s just selfish.

As one movie that slightly glamorised, yet accurately captured the struggle of personal appearance, Mean Girls.

Regina: “You’re so pretty!”

LL: “Thanks!”

Regina: “So you agree, you think you’re pretty?”

I feel like that perfectly describes the struggle of personal identity. If you say thanks to a complement than of course you agree and are bragging about the complement.